In-person dating events · Copenhagen

Softer Dating,

The Alternative
to Online Dating

Tired of swiping? So were we. Softer Dating is is the alternative to online dating. A space for real connection, for slowing down and meeting others eye to eye.

See upcoming events How it works

The circle behind these words breathes at the pace of a calm breath. Join it for one — that's the speed we date at.

Why we exist

"Is there really no alternative to swiping? I just want to meet cute people!"

That question is where Softer Dating began. We see a deep longing in people to connect with other humans, face to face, not through a screen. It takes courage to "out" yourself as someone who longs for connection.

So we create a space that feels safe enough to take that step. We facilitate the first interactions to carry you over the initial awkwardness, then it opens into relaxed, playful encounters. Presence, curiosity and kindness matter here more than polished small talk.

What you won't find

  • No formulas. No rehearsed lines, no pressure to impress.
  • No interviews. No "what's your job?", just real questions that invite curiosity.
  • No rush. Being present together is the point, not getting through a list of people.

What you will find

  • Presence. Your attention fully in the here and now, on the subtle energy between you and someone else.
  • Warmth. Meaningful, always-optional touch, a hug, a held hand. Let's build trust without expectation.
  • Being witnessed. To see and be seen, in your human complexity.

Who's behind this

Hi, I'm Philipp

Philipp, founder of Softer Dating

I'm a facilitator and coach based in Copenhagen, and the one guiding you through these evenings. My work lives at the intersection of connection, consent and embodiment. By now, I've spent years holding spaces where people get to drop the performance and actually meet each other.

Softer Dating grew out of a simple frustration: I kept hearing (and feeling) that swiping leaves us lonelier than before. So I built the thing I wished existed, a warm room with gentle guidance where real people can meet authentically.

Every exercise we do is grounded in frameworks I work with daily: the Wheel of Consent, nonviolent communication, and somatic practice. Mostly though, it's grounded in the belief that everyone deserves to be met with curiosity.

— Philipp - Pyt

Upcoming

Come on a date with us

Evenings are organized by age group, with 25–40 people in the room.

Nervous? We got you

Frequently asked questions

Who else will be there?

We organize by age group, so you won't feel like an outlier. You'll look around and think, "these are my people." Mainly singles and everyone who is there is there to date.

What's the gender ratio?

Such a classic question! We don't guarantee a perfect 1:1. For one, because gender isn't binary in our eyes, and because our events are about connection first. Even an exercise with someone you won't end up dating can be interesting and valuable in itself.

Will there be eye contact and touch?

Yes, some exercises involve eye contact and some involve touch. And you are always in control: close your eyes, look away, or skip an exercise entirely. Consent is at the heart of everything, everyone is encouraged to respect each other's boundaries.

What if I don't like an exercise?

You can always opt out, easily. We have an observation space where you can simply watch and re-center, which can be a lovely and quite cute experience in itself.

What if I feel awkward, anxious or emotional?

Totally fine. This is an emotionally inclusive space, whatever comes up is welcome. By the end of the night, people are remarkably comfortable around each other, and brave.

What should I wear?

Something you can move in freely, we might sitting on (soft) floors. At the same time: this is a dating event, so wear something that makes you feel comfortable, confident and attractive. Go easy on the perfume; pheromone matching is a thing! ;)

What if I want to connect with someone after?

At the end of the evening you'll have a facilitated chance to express interest to the people you felt a connection with, and exchange numbers or socials. By then, people are comfortable and brave.

How is this different from speed dating?

Most dating events are about efficiency: meet as many people as possible in limited time. We slow down. Way down. Less interviewing, more sensing, playing, moving, you'll notice someone's presence, the small details of how they move, the energy between you. That's where real connection happens.

More questions? Write us at softerdating@gmail.com

From the blog

Slow thoughts on dating

Essays and field notes from our events: on dating app fatigue, embodiment, and meeting people in the flesh.

Read everything on Medium →